Losing my religion
by Charlotte Alderlove
Summary: So Frank meets Elder price and Elder Cunningham. Let's just say they break lots of rules. I used EP Elder Price and Kevin for elder price and EC Elder Cunningham and Arnold for Elder Cunningham. M for safety and the rules they break


Elder Price stood with Elder Cunningham in front of a huge castle.  
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Elder Cunningham asked.  
"It said we cover the whole Denton area. Even the outskirts and this place is in the outskirts. Remember Elder, this is the test run to make sure we are ready for our mission. And I am very ready for my mission." Elder Price responded.  
"Ok. So who is talking?" Elder Cunningham asked.  
"I am." Elder Price responded. "How else will I be able to go to on my mission to Orlando?"  
"Where would I go?" Elder Cunningham asked.  
"I guess you are going there too." Elder Price said.  
Elder Cunningham sighed and rang the doorbell. Dr. Frank-N-Furter answered.  
Elder Price's eyes got huge and his jaw dropped. Elder Cunningham noticed Elder Price wasn't saying anything. "Hello. My name is Elder Cunningham, and I would like to share with you this book of Jesus Christ." He started reciting seamlessly.  
"Hi, my name is Frank. Most Mormons run by now."  
"Why?"  
"I break a couple major rules just by my appearance, but I always wondered minus the very obvious restrictions what Mormonism is all about."  
"Caffeine addict?"  
"Yes." Frank answered. "Amongst a couple other things."  
"What?" Elder Cunningham asked.  
"Do you actually want to come in?" Frank asked. EC nodded. EP still was standing there, gaping.  
Frank showed them the couch. "So do you guys want anything while I am still up? Water? Soda? Wine? Sorry I forgot about the alcohol thing."  
"Some water, please." Elder Cunningham said.  
Frank gave EC the water. EC took some water and threw it at EP.  
EP shook his head. "Hello, my name is Elder Price and I would like to share with you the most amazing book." He started.  
"I already got the speech. I may not be able to convert but I would really like to learn more, if nothing more to understand more Mitt Romney jokes." Frank explained.  
"My companion doesn't seem to recognize your lifestyle choice."  
"Aww a gay Mormon couple!" Frank exclaimed.  
"No! I am straight! Why does everyone think I am gay?" EP asked.  
EC said "You don't have to sound like it would be so horrible."  
Frank laughed a bit. "I like your style Elder Cunningham. Is it okay if you tell me your real name?"  
"NO!" EP yelled.  
"It is Arnold. And he is Kevin." EC said.  
Frank smiled. "So you wanted to show me this book."  
"But you are obviously gay! Plus boys have to dress like boys!" Kevin exclaimed.  
Arnold said "I think it lesbianism if it is a chick."  
"Arnold, sweetheart, I am a man." Frank said.  
Arnold gulped. "I have some soul searching then."  
"Plus the fact, I love caffeine, alcohol and so many other vices." Frank smiled.  
"See? He is going to Hell!" EP exclaimed.  
"It can't hurt to tell the story. I mean think of it! If we can switch Frank, we can switch anyone." Arnold whispered.  
Frank mildly overhearing smiled. "So how does it go?" He asked, moving over to the couch next to Arnold, looking at the Book of Mormon which was open in his hands.  
Kevin stood up. "You all know the Bible is made of testaments old and new..." He started to sing.  
"No, Kevin I want to hear Arnold tell me all about it." Frank said, getting closer. Arnold gulped.  
"Well in 1823 there was this guy living in New York named Joseph Smith." Arnold explained. Frank got a little closer, drawn with interest.  
EP coughed "Our prophet."  
"He spoke to G-g-g-god." EC stuttered  
"Interesting. Was he high?" Frank asked.  
"No! Why would we worship someone who did drugs and then condemn them?" EP asked.  
Frank shrugged. "Stranger things have happened, Kevin."  
"So God told him that there were these golden plates in his back yard. So Joseph Smith started digging in his backyard and found the golden plates. But God said that he wasn't supposed to show them to anyone."  
EP coughed "Moroni."  
"Huh?" EC asked.  
"God didn't tell him, the angel Moroni said not to show anyone." EP corrected.  
"Kevin, I highly doubt that is a huge problem." Frank started.  
"And you have neglected to use the term All American!" EP exclaimed.  
"I am just curious about the religion. So tell me more Arnold." Frank said, leaning his head on Arnold's shoulder.  
Arnold gulped again. "So he went home and wrote down the whole thing and it became the Book of Mormon."  
"Awesome!" Frank exclaimed.  
"You forgot the part about Salt Lake City!" EP exclaimed.  
Frank looked at Elder Price. He said seductively "Relax. There is no reason to get all bent out of shape on the small things." Since EP was sitting right beside him, Frank got a bit closer.  
"Um I am starting to feel a bit uncomfortable." EP noted. Frank started massaging EP's shoulders. "Oh come on Kevin, you are so stressed. God wouldn't care if you gave yourself over to pleasure for one night."  
EP said "I will do anything if you keep doing that."  
Frank smiled. "Is there anything I can get you?"  
"Well there is one thing..." EP started.

Frank woke up with a pair of arms around his midriff. He thought "I am so going to hell if I took advantage of a sweet Mormon boy. Kevin wanted to try alcohol! It was totally ok!" He looked behind him. He gulped.  
"Oh shit." Frank whispered.  
EP saw Frank. "Oh Heavenly Father forgive me! Ow!" EP exclaimed.  
"Oh hangovers."  
"I am Mormon and only 19!" He exclaimed.  
"See the only nineteen part should be included in your thing at the beginning." Frank noted. "Plus you asked for it. You also didn't fight me when we screwed around. I love how I remember all this now."  
"I know I didn't either." EC said, snuggling in with Frank.  
"No wonder why I had a spooky Mormon hell dream last night! You were Satan." EP exclaimed.  
"Well I feel like Satan right now." Frank noted.  
"I had one too but I don't care. I am a compulsive liar. I get those dreams every single night." EC said. Frank looked over at EC.  
"That is why I liked you better Arnold. You are not so damn tense." Frank noted.  
"Turn it off. There it's gone my hetero side just won..." EP sang.  
"So how did you like last night, Arnold?" Frank asked.  
"I think I am bi. Know any religions that accept indecisive people like me?" Arnold asked.  
"Well the Anglicans don't care what happens between your sheets." Frank noted. Arnold nodded.  
"I will check it out." He promised  
Frank kissed Arnold's cheek. "Did both of you get drunk?" Frank asked.  
"No." Arnold said. "I didn't."  
"Ok." Frank answered.  
Kevin said "There has to be a loophole!"  
Frank sighed. "Sweetheart, breathe. You were all afraid about rule 72 which was why all three of us were here."  
"There are none of them." Arnold promised.  
Frank asked "Do you guys want to get up? If you need a robe, I think I have two on there. The pink one is mine." Elder Price put one of them and passed the other to Arnold. Frank got his pink robe on.  
"Any suggestions for breakfast?" Frank asked.  
"Can I leave?" Elder Price asked.  
"You may want to leave with more clothes honey. I put the stuff you came in with in the dryer." Frank explained.  
"Why?".  
"They were wet!"  
"But I could go home with wet clothes!"  
"But then you would have had to lie and say you did a baptism."  
"You really think ahead..." EP started.  
"I have had almost every morning after situation known to man. You learn how to be prepared after awhile." Frank noted.  
"So how do we handle the feelings?" EP asked.  
"We? I'm converting. Maybe I should create my own religion." EC responded.  
EP gulped. "Then how I am I doing this?" He asked.  
"I will figure something out. First off, your clothes should be ready by the end of breakfast. Second, take a shower. They know my scent." Frank warned. Frank asked "Third, didn't they teach you to turn it off in Mormon school? When they were teaching you to be fucking nice to everyone and how to keep your hair in immaculate condition?"  
EP laughed sarcastically. "Are you actually going to help me?"  
"If you stop being a dick." Frank said. Frank gave him a huge glass of water. "Drink this. It will help your headache."  
"You and Jesus."  
"Are you positive they aren't making you high?"  
"It was in my spooky Mormon hell dream. Jesus called me a dick."  
"Hmmm... I typically don't agree with Jesus or God, but I think I have to agree with him." Frank noted.  
"He said in His exact words 'You blamed your brother for eating the donut, you got drunk and had a three way with a transvestite? You're a dick!'"  
"What did you say?"  
"'Well at least I didn't break rule 72.'" EP said. Frank laughed.  
"Are you sure you don't want to switch religions?" Frank asked.  
"Heavenly Father will never forgive me." EP noted.  
Frank suggested "You two could join my LGBTQ group and make a new religion."  
"What does the Q stand for?" EP asked.  
"Questioning. The l stands for lesbian, g stands for gay, b stands for bi, t stands for transgendered." Frank explained.  
EP shook his head. Frank shrugged. He poured himself some coffee with hazelnut creamer. "What is that heavenly smell?" EP asked.  
Frank said "Coffee."  
"Let's work on that new religion!" EP exclaimed.


End file.
